Image Crisis

This morning Josh and I took Scarlet on a hike up at Ensign's Peak. It's a short little hike but it's good for the lungs to work out on the steep inclines and I felt pretty healthy doing it. After reading this article Bob once posted on Facebook, I vowed I would not let my larger size intimidate me into avoiding family pictures. When we got to the top of the hill (the Peak, if you will), this lady offered to take a photo of the three of us and I said yes. Josh also took a photo of me at the top. I reviewed the photos later and let me just tell you: I'm feeling pretty intimidated.

I cannot believe how much my stomach has grown! I've been walking at least a mile almost every day and trying to eat a little healthier. When my wrist doesn't hurt too much, I even do yoga! But I am still much larger than before I got pregnant, and my stomach falls over my waistline in a way it never did before Scarlet. Don't get me wrong--I do not regret having my daughter and I'm looking forward to having the next one. But there's something terribly depressing about looking at yourself in a photograph and cringing at how large you look. It didn't help that I wore a tight-ish pink shirt that made me look like an inflated balloon. Awesome.

So despite the article making me feel like I should not feel shame, I am too ashamed to show you the pictures. I can't bear that they exist, let alone allow anyone to see them. I'll just have to work harder at cutting out extra food (I still binge eat something fierce despite the exercise) and hope enough progress is made that I'll be able to show my face at the dirty dash next month.