I'm sort of at a loss. I just keep gaining and eating and gaining. I have no control and I'm as heavy as I've ever been in my life (minus being pregnant). I finally couldn't take it anymore, and I signed up for JillianMichaels.com. It's a three-month program that cost $65 and I can record my progress as I lose weight but mostly I can get menus and grocery lists for my specific calorie needs and workout programs designed specifically for me. I'm a little nervous to start but I've already paid for it, so I need to embrace it.
This week I have Emily and Abby staying with us so it's not feasible for me to try to buy groceries for just myself, but starting next Monday, I'll get with the program and really focus. I weighed myself this morning and I need to lose some serious weight in order to even look like I did before having this baby. I did a workout video yesterday and it totally kicked my butt. I'm unbelievably sore today and was barely able to take a ten-minute walk tonight. I'm recovering from a nasty cold that has me congested and foggy for most of the day (going on nine days now) and I took a two-hour nap this evening and have been awake for the past three hours as punishment (it's one a.m.). So I know I'll be tired tomorrow, but I'm still going to work out. If I'm too sore still I'll do yoga, but I'm going to work out regardless. I'm also going to watch what I eat and cool it on the junk food. I've been inhaling sugar like it's my life force and I feel so powerless when the craving starts to grow in me. Not fun. Tomorrow I'll work on mastering my self will and telling my body what to eat instead of the other way around.
My official weight loss goal is to lose 55 pounds so I can hit my goal weight. My shorter-term goal is to finish the year by losing 25 pounds. That's roughly two pounds a week, which I can do if I just stay diligent (something I'm not very good at right now). I have workout videos so I should be able to exercise regardless of the weather and I have my JillianMichaels account so I should have all I need to eat smart. I can do this. Here's to a successful October!
